


Here, Turkey, Turkey, Turkey

by Hartley_Blaze



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-21
Updated: 2019-12-21
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:34:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21892246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hartley_Blaze/pseuds/Hartley_Blaze
Summary: The unthinkable has happened, Waverly has forgotten to buy a turkey for Christmas lunch. In a moment she may come to regret, she suggests Wynonna and Nicole go out hunting for a wild one. Can the pair, who always seem to get themselves into mischief when paired up, get the job done?
Relationships: Waverly Earp/Nicole Haught
Comments: 4
Kudos: 100





	Here, Turkey, Turkey, Turkey

**Author's Note:**

> First of all, thank you to all of you who left kudos and a comment on my first fanfic attempt. It was so heart-warming to see that so many of you enjoyed it. Secondly, let me wish all of you who celebrate a safe and very merry Christmas and a happy new year.

**Here, Turkey, Turkey, Turkey**

**M** oaning and squirming as she rubbed against her girlfriend’s body, Waverly Earp ran her hands slowly up and down Nicole Haught’s sides. "Do we have time?" she asked huskily.

"There’s always time."

"Not true." Hands tugging the redhead’s shirt free from her trousers, Waverly ran her hands up Nicole’s bare sides and revelled in the soft hot skin that met her fingertips.

Not to be deterred from what her girlfriend had started, Nicole kissed a wet path down Waverly’s neck, taking the time to hit all the sensitive spots that drove her girlfriend crazy. "There’s time, baby. Stop worrying."

"I just don’t want you to be late for your first outing as Santa," Waverly replied. "You were all pouty last year about playing an elf, this year you’ve got the main gig, it seems a shame if you were late to it." She moaned out loud and forgot the point she was making as Nicole tracked her naked body with a delicate hand, her tongue teasing a hard and aching nipple. "Oh, Nic!"

Lifting her head so she could meet Waverly’s glazed eyes, Nicole smiled confidently. "Still want to stop?"

"I never wanted to stop, I just wanted to make sure we had time."

"We’ve got time," Nicole insisted. "The only thing I’m worried about is Wynonna walking in on us." She kissed her way down Waverly’s toned body, her eyes closed as she savoured the act. She followed a familiar path down soft, smooth skin over tight muscles, a path she had followed many a time before and still wasn’t tired of. Waverly Earp was the most incredible woman she had ever known, beautiful both inside and out.

"Nicole!" Waverly gasped, body unable to remain still, her hips thrusting upwards as she sought contact against her girlfriend’s body. "Please, Nicole! We don’t have time for you to tease me!" She sounded desperate even to her own ears, but she didn’t care. Her clit was throbbing painfully and needed some attention sooner rather than later.

Lowering herself between the youngest Earp’s spread legs, Nicole took a slow, leisurely lick of Waverly’s glistening sex, delighting in the taste that met her tongue. This was an act she loved to indulge in, an act she would quite happily continue at a slow, torturous pace, if it wasn’t for Waverly’s escalating whimpers and moans.

"Come here! Please, come here!" Waverly begged, wanting to be able to look into adoring brown eyes as they reconnected, as they loved each other, as they fell apart.

Not wanting to deny Waverly anything, Nicole swiftly moved up the bed and settled next to her girlfriend, throwing a long leg over Waverly’s hip, her hand settling between Waverly’s thighs. "Together?"

Licking her suddenly dry lips, Waverly nodded as she slid her own hand between Nicole’s thighs. "Together," she confirmed.

With gentle fingers and an even gentler touch, they stroked each other’s swollen flesh, stoking the ever-building fire, feeling their orgasms growing and growing in intensity, gasping for breath, hearts thundering, their pace quickening, almost there, almost.

"Inside, please!" Nicole panted, so desperately close to climax and needing that one final touch, that one final act of intimacy.

Forehead pressed to Nicole’s, Waverly drew the redhead closer to her with one arm around her back and eased inside. Molten heat surrounded her fingers, soft as velvet walls clenching and pulsing tightening around her as Nicole’s hips rocked forward in a rapid erratic rhythm until finally her muscles tightened as she reached her peak, mouth dropping open as a strangled cry escaped her lips.

"Uhh! Uhhhh! I… you… Waves!" The redhead’s eyes scrunched tightly shut as she exploded into a million colourful pieces, floating off into a blissful warmth that enveloped her entire being.

Recovering first, Waverly waited for her love to return to her, delighted and amazed that she, Waverly Earp, could bring such pleasure to the amazing woman in her arms.

"Dammmnnnn!" Nicole breathed finally, eyes fluttering open to see her amused girlfriend watching her. "You… are… extraordinary, Waverly Earp."

"You’re not so bad yourself, Nicole Haught," Waverly replied with a small chuckle. "Did you drift off somewhere nice?"

"Mm-hmm."

"And have you returned feeling relaxed and ready to face the public?"

"If I have to." Reluctantly shifting away from Waverly’s embrace, Nicole groaned as she stretched, aching in the most pleasurable of ways. "Did you…?"

"Mm-hmm. I just recovered quicker than you did." Reaching out, Waverly caressed the sheriff’s thigh. "I get the feeling you seriously needed that."

Nicole sat up and edged over to the side of the bed. "I guess I did. I have been really stressing out over this Santa gig. Everyone loves Nedley and he made the perfect Santa, you said so yourself. What if they hate me?" Brown eyes widened in sudden fear. "What if I drop a child? Or…"

"Stop worrying." Waverly rolled closer to her girlfriend and ran a soothing hand up her back. "You’re gonna be great."

"You think so?"

Waverly hated how unsure Nicole sounded. She was an amazing woman with the biggest of hearts and whether she knew it or not, had a lot of friends in Purgatory. "I have no doubt whatsoever." She smiled as she sat up. "And I’ll be there right beside you as Mrs. Claus to be supportive and to smile and to smooth over any awkwardness."

Smiling brightly, Nicole turned and kissed her much loved girlfriend. "Then how can I go wrong?"

"You can’t."

"All right then." The redhead stood up. "A quick shower, then into the Santa suit. We’ll smile and be nice to everyone, then come home and…" She wiggled her eyebrows. "You can tell Santa how naughty you’ve been this year." Grinning, she left the bedroom with Waverly’s laughter ringing in her ears.

*** * * * ***

It had been a bitterly cold night in Purgatory, with an icy wind and fresh flurry of snow chilling everyone who had ventured out to the tree lot to purchase a last-minute tree and visit the new sheriff as Santa. There had been laughter and joy from most, no children going missing, roasted chestnuts and hot drinks to keep the cold at bay for a while, a success Nicole thought. But still, it was the type of night you were glad to get home to the warmth. The type of night you wanted to be snuggled up with the one you loved, nowhere to be but with each other.

It was the morning chill that woke Nicole from a peaceful slumber. The redhead found herself with a sliver of cover, her girlfriend, meanwhile, was burrowed under a pile of blankets. Smiling lovingly, Nicole reached for Waverly. "Merry Christmas, baby," she greeted softly.

"Mmm?"

Waiting a moment for Waverly to fully come around, Nicole leaned forward and kissed her softly. "Did you sleep okay?"

Waverly reluctantly stirred, far too warm and cosy to really want to wake up. "Yeah," she breathed, a small smile gracing her lips. "I had this dream where I was Mrs. Claus and Santa was telling me I had been a very good girl this year and wanted to give me a present early." She cracked an eye open to look at her blushing girlfriend. "In fact, Santa looked an awful lot like you."

"Oh, really? That’s odd."

It started with a kiss, as it so often did between them. Knowing they had nowhere to be and no obligation to get out of bed, Nicole rolled on top of Waverly, her libido definitely awake. She felt strong thighs tight against her sides, silky smooth legs lifted and small feet resting against the small of her back.

"I know for sure we have all the time in the world this morning," she murmured, dimples on full display as she smiled. "We have nowhere to be, no one to see…"

"Until this afternoon," Waverly put in with a smile of her own.

"Wynonna’s no doubt sleeping off a Christmas Eve bender. So, until we’re required to, we’re free to stay in bed for as long as we so desire." Ducking her head, Nicole captured soft lips, luxuriating in the joy of kissing Waverly.

Downstairs, against all odds, Wynonna was awake. Wynonna was not only awake but up to face the day and could be heard stomping about, the banging of cupboard doors echoing throughout the homestead, loud unhappy mutterings drifting up the staircase to the two lovers.

"That cannot be Wynonna awake and up already," Nicole muttered.

"Maybe she’s just getting in."

"And stomping around slamming cupboard doors because?"

Waverly didn’t have an answer. There were times her older sister was a complete mystery to her.

"What’s wrong with her?" the redhead wondered out loud.

Threading her fingers through red locks, Waverly pulled Nicole’s head back down to her. "I don’t care. As long as she leaves us alone."

Only Wynonna didn’t leave them alone. Because Wynonna had woken up early with good intentions and had discovered a problem. Waking up early with the intention of making breakfast for her two favourite, if not slightly annoying, people in the world, an act of kindness to show them both how much she loved and appreciated them, she had discovered something was missing.

Thumping footsteps could be heard leaving the kitchen and making their way to the staircase.

"No!" Nicole groaned into Waverly’s neck, just knowing they were about to be interrupted.

"Ignore her," Waverly urged, before capturing Nicole’s lips and pushing her tongue inside her girlfriend’s mouth.

The thumping footsteps stopped halfway up the staircase. "Will you two ridiculously loved-up idiots stop Christmas morning bonking for two minutes and tell me where the turkey is."

The kiss ended abruptly, and Waverly blinked as she looked into confused brown eyes. "Where did you put the turkey?"

Nicole blinked back. "I didn’t get the turkey. You got the turkey."

"I didn’t get the turkey. You were going to get the turkey."

"I was going to get the turkey, but you said you’d get the turkey because you were going food shopping anyway."

Waverly suddenly recalled that conversation. "I was supposed to get the turkey."

"Uh-huh."

"I didn’t get the turkey," she guiltily confessed.

"Uh-huh." Rolling off her girlfriend, Nicole puffed out her cheeks. "It’s Christmas Day, nowhere is open." She wracked her brain for a solution.

"We could all go vegan this year," Waverly suggested. "I have enough ingredients for a large vegan loaf."

"Baby, I would try anything your little heart desires, but I don’t think Wynonna or Mercedes will see things your way."

"Ooh!" Hazel eyes lit up with hope. "What are the chances Mercedes has a turkey?"

"Slim to none, babe. Wynonna invited her to come here. Why would she have gone out and bought a turkey of her own?"

"Good point."

"Hello?" Wynonna called out. "Have you bonked yourselves into a coma?"

Groaning, the youngest Earp shoved her numerous covers off and climbed out of bed. "No, Wynonna, we’re here." Slipping into her robe, she headed for the closed bedroom door, impressed her sister hadn’t just barged in like she was prone to doing. Taking a breath, she opened the door and smiled sheepishly at her waiting sister. "I forgot to buy the turkey," she confessed.

"Say what now?"

"Nicole was going to get it, but I said I’d get it, then I forgot to get it, so…" She shrugged. "No turkey. But…" she put up a finger to halt any protest from her sister, "…you can go out and get one. You and Nicole."

"Babe," Nicole spoke up, ready to remind her girlfriend that the shops weren’t open.

"Okay, Haught-pants, get up, go into town and demand someone open the shop for you so we can have a turkey."

"Not gonna do that, Wynonna," Nicole called back.

"You damn well are! We have guests coming and what’s the point of almost having a sheriff in the family if you can’t use your powers for good."

"It would be an abuse of my powers as sheriff."

"Shooting," Waverly ploughed on. "You can both go out and shoot a wild turkey, like mama did." Her head turned from her sister to her girlfriend and back again. "You love shooting things, Wy. And Nicole loves making me happy. And I love it when you two have bonding time. It’s win-win." She smiled her most adorable smile, hoping they wouldn’t be too mad at her.

"Yeah, I suppose I can do that," Wynonna conceded. "What do you say, Haught-shot? Up for some turkey hunting?"

Her morning plans suddenly shelved, Nicole sighed heavily, just knowing it wouldn’t be simple. Nothing concerning Wynonna ever was. "Sure, Earp. I’ll come along and keep you out of trouble."

"We’re going into the snow-covered woods, how much trouble can I possibly get into?" Wynonna scoffed.

A million and one thoughts on the possibilities ran through her mind and Waverly grimaced. "Oh, boy!"

*** * * * ***

"Click, click, click."

"Will you stop clicking your tongue!" Nicole growled. "It’s not a damn horse, Wynonna, it won’t come to that."

"Like what you were doing was any better!" the brunette huffed, rolling her eyes. "Here, turkey, turkey, turkey," she mimicked the redhead. "Like it’s a damn cat or something!"

"That’s better than clicking!"

They had been out in the woods for a couple of hours trying to hunt wild turkey and were yet to find any trace of the damn birds. Nicole was cold, fed up, and on the verge of declaring herself vegan just so she could go home to the warmth of her girlfriend’s arms.

Wynonna puffed out her cheeks and exhaled a puffy white cloud of breath. "What do you call a gingerbread man with one leg bitten off?" she asked out of the blue. She looked over at Nicole, waiting for the redhead to respond. "Come on, Haught cross bun, it’s Christmas. Indulge me."

Sighing, not for the first time that morning, Nicole shrugged, not in the mood. "I don’t know, Wynonna. What do you call a gingerbread man with one leg bitten off?"

"Limp biscuit!" The brunette started laughing, tickled pink by the joke she had been waiting to share since she had overheard it at Shorty’s. She noticed Nicole wasn’t laughing with her and figured the poor redhead didn’t get it. "Limp biscuit," she repeated slowly, as though talking to a five-year-old. "’Cause his leg is gone."

"Yeah, I got it, Wynonna."

Wynonna scowled, not happy that her fun was being ruined by little Miss Queen of bossy town. "You think I wanna be out here with you?" she snapped. "It’s Christmas Day, I should be curled up with a bottle of whiskey with nothing on my mind but drinking it and trying not to hear you and my sister being all lovey-dovey."

"This isn’t my ideal Christmas either! I had plans! Staying in bed half the day plans!"

"And why the hell did you make me change out of my festive onesie? I get to wear that twice a year and you made me dress up for a bunch of stupid birds we can’t even find!"

"Do you really want to be out here inappropriately dressed? You would have been frozen in minutes, then spent all this time complaining about being cold!"

"Wynonna, bitch!" Mercedes Gardner called out cheerfully, pushing past a particularly dense cluster of trees.

"Mercedes?" Wynonna blinked. "What are you doing out here?" she asked in surprise.

The redhead approached her old school friend looking elegant and sophisticated as ever despite being bundled up in winter clothing. "You two are making so much noise, you weren’t difficult to track down. I arrived at your humble abode and Waverly told me you had set off turkey hunting. That sweet little lesbian was worried about you hurting yourselves or each other because you’ve been gone hours, so I thought I would come and lend a hand."

"You shoot?" Nicole asked in surprise.

"Since I was old enough to hold a gun," Mercedes replied. "Daddy used to insist that Beth and I went along when he came out hunting with Tucker. I don’t think he wanted to be alone with my douche pecker brother, and who could blame him? That weirdo probably would have shot our father just to get a step closer to the family fortune." She shrugged as she reached into her handbag and started searching for something.

"You’ve hunted turkey before then?" Nicole asked.

"And deer and rabbit." Pulling out a small drinking flask, she opened it and took a quick swig before holding the flask out to Wynonna. "It’s vodka. I find that alcohol helps in every situation."

"I love you," Wynonna replied, eyes only for the flask. "This is why we’re friends, Mercedes. We totally get each other."

With Wynonna now distracted, Mercedes looked at Nicole. "Have you ever hunted turkey before?"

"Sure. Every year I go stalking down the aisles of the supermarket," Wynonna piped up. "You wouldn’t believe how much hard work it is to get one of those big bastards into the trolley."

Nicole shook her head. "Me either."

"Turkeys have keen eyesight that detects even the slightest amount of movement, so you two stomping around out here is doing you no favours," Mercedes told them matter-of-factly. "And you really want to be wearing camouflage that blends into your environment." She looked at what they were all wearing and rolled her eyes. "We’ll have to hope for the best. You pick a spot, you don’t move, and you wait for the perfect opportunity to kill your prey."

"Dude, what are you, the birdwoman of Alcatraz?" Wynonna asked, impressed.

"I told you, I used to do this with my father. I know what I’m doing. Besides, whilst it would be highly amusing to watch you two carrying on as you have been, I’m guessing we have to get a turkey, pluck, gut and roast all before we can eat, and as much as I love you, I won’t wait to be fed forever."

"Okay, bird Grylls," Wynonna snorted, looking to Nicole to get her reaction and still getting nothing from the redhead. "I waste some of my best material on you," she muttered. Disappointed, blue eyes settled on Mercedes once again. "How do we find a turkey?"

"The easiest way to track turkey is to find tracks. They walk everywhere. If we’re lucky, we’ll spot some fallen feathers. Once we find the area they’re generally in, we can settle down to hunt."

*** * * * ***

The trio were still traipsing through the woods searching for signs of turkey life an hour later. Mercedes had given up trying to tell them they had to be quiet and resigned herself to not having turkey that year. Nicole had grown more and more annoyed by the minute and Wynonna more and more stubborn about leading the way.

"Wynonna, stop!" Nicole shouted, her frustration bubbling up and overflowing finally. "We’re going around in circles!"

"We are not, I know exactly where I’m going," the brunette insisted. "I learnt a thing or two about tracking from Doc."

"Really? ‘Cause I’m fairly sure those are our footprints!" Nicole threw out a hand and pointed to the tracks they had already left. "Admit it, you’re lost."

"I am not lost. I’m just… turned around. Why aren’t you better at this? I thought you lesbians had an inbuilt compass or something."

"I don’t know what you’ve been reading and I’m not going to ask."

Getting the feeling they weren’t going to be moving on any time soon, Mercedes sat down on a snow-covered fallen tree trunk and watched the pair bickering back and forth as she took out her drink flask and sipped at the warming alcohol.

She could see the pair cared for each other, even if they wouldn’t admit it out loud. Even if Wynonna went out of her way to tease and mimic Nicole, even if Nicole acted frustrated and annoyed and pretended she was irked by every little thing the other woman did; they were both ready to do anything they could to help the other when needed. It made their little tiffs even more amusing.

"You two have at it," Mercedes called out. She took a half full bottle of vodka out of her handbag and started refilling her flask. "As long as I have booze, I’m happy."

"You’re not helping, Mercedes!" Nicole growled, retrieving her knitwear hat from where Wynonna had thrown it.

"Oh, sugar, of course I am. I’ll be the witness that tells the authorities where they can find your body after Wynonna accidently," she made air quotes with her fingers. "shoots you." She smiled saccharinely.

Wynonna smirked, always appreciating Mercedes’s sense of humour. She returned her attention to the sheriff. "Those might not be our tracks."

"Seriously? Have you seen anyone else out here?"

"Just because we haven’t seen them, doesn’t mean they’re not out here being all stealthy and shit like Mercedes said we had to be."

"You’re such a child at times!" Nicole sighed. Stomping over to the other redhead, she held out a hand for the flask, more than ready for a drink.

Reluctantly, Mercedes handed the flask over. "You know, we’re probably not going to manage to catch a turkey anyway. Not only because of all the noise you two idiots are making, but the fact you brought a rifle."

"I can hit a damn turkey with a rifle," Wynonna huffed. "I’m a great shot, ask all the revenants I put down."

"A shotgun would have been better," Mercedes told her. "Doesn’t Waverly have a shotgun?"

"Waverly is very particular about her things," Wynonna sulked. A sudden thought came to her then and she grew even more angry at the whole situation. "You know, Haught-head, Waverly probably has a turkey in the oven as we speak," she growled. "She’s probably sitting in the kitchen drinking wine with Jeremy, laughing about us being out here like idiots."

"No way," Nicole shook her head, immediately in defensive mode for her girlfriend.

"My sister is many things, but forgetful is not one of them. There is no way she would forget something as major as Christmas Day lunch, not when we’ve invited guests over," Wynonna argued her point. "She likes it when we get along and probably thought we needed some bonding time, so came up with this hare-brained idea just for that purpose."

"Waverly wouldn’t do that," Nicole replied, shaking her head. Though as she said it, she did recall a couple of times her girlfriend had sneakily orchestrated them being thrown together.

"But you’re no fun!" Wynonna continued. "You suck the fun out of… fun."

"She wouldn’t." The redhead sounded less sure now.

"I think we both know she would."

With a huff, Nicole took a seat on the fallen tree trunk next to Mercedes and watched Wynonna trudge towards her and plop down on her left. The tension and frustration and anger faded as they all sat quietly, just three women in the woods, getting colder by the minute as they sat doing nothing.

Reaching out to snag the flask, Wynonna swigged deeply from it. "I know I don’t always act like it, but I’m glad she has you, Haught," she confessed. "I know you love her and want to keep her safe."

"I do," Nicole nodded, a small smile gracing her lips. "Just as I know that if anything happened to me, you’d be there…"

"To switch off the machine."

Nicole smiled patiently. "You’d be there to help her through."

"Yeah, okay, save it for your best woman speech," Mercedes interrupted, bored now the fighting had dispersed and turned into affection. "If you’ve finished with your lovefest, we’ve got turkey feathers. Finally. So shut up, move slow, and let’s kill this damn bird and go home."

"What do you mean there are turkey feathers?" Wynonna jumped to her feet and moved to where Mercedes was sitting, seeing a scattering of feathers. "Why didn’t you say anything?"

"And miss you two fighting then making up." Mercedes rolled her eyes. "I didn’t have a chance. "Now, give me my damn flask back and let’s get this over with."

*** * * * ***

The trio silently moved into the trees for cover, trying to be as quiet as possible. The crunching of snow under their feet didn’t help their cause, nor did tree branches snagging on their clothing and snapping back. But still, they tried to creep silently onwards, hoping to spot the twitchy flock of plump turkeys.

Wynonna had taken the lead as she had the rifle, Nicole, for reasons she couldn’t fathom, had followed her, with Mercedes bringing up the rear. The sheriff was positive that some of the branches snapping back her way by the older Earp didn’t have to be, but she couldn’t prove anything, and they were trying to be quiet, so she didn’t dare ask out loud.

When Wynonna stopped suddenly with no warning, Nicole bumped into her with an oof, Mercedes bumping into the taller redhead with a huff of annoyance. "Wynonna, what the…?"

"Shh!" Pulling the rifle off her shoulder, Wynonna took aim at the flock of turkeys before her and channelled all the late, great hunters of old whose names she couldn’t remember and didn’t care to, as she inhaled. As she exhaled, she squeezed the trigger.

And missed.

Every single one of the large group.

"Goddamn son of a bitch!"

The turkeys were now all gobbling, clucking and yelping as they flapped and scatted in every direction.

"Shoot again!" Nicole shouted, straight into Wynonna’s ear, pointing at the fleeing birds. "Before they all get away!"

Distracted by the chaos she had caused and contemplating simply jumping one of the stupid birds, the brunette nodded. "Right." Taking aim again, she locked onto a particularly large bird she swore was giving her the evil eye, figuring she couldn’t miss with so much to aim at. Squeezing the trigger, the bark of a nearby tree went flying, the turkey she had marked for death running unscathed into the foliage.

"Son of a bitch!" She looked over her shoulder at the other two women in disbelief. "Who knew these fuckers were so hard to kill."

"Come on, Annie Oakley," Nicole huffed, pushing past the dumbfounded brunette. "Don’t let them escape sight or we’ll be out here all day!"

"You know, if you hadn’t been breathing down my neck, I would have hit one of them."

"Yeah, keep telling yourself that, Wynonna," the redhead replied, rolling her eyes.

Following the numerous tracks the birds had left in the snow as they had run, the trio soon found themselves in shin-deep snow and standing upright and walking properly was suddenly a challenge. The quieter they tried to be, it seemed the louder they were, and when Mercedes face-planted into the snow, no power on Earth was going to stop Wynonna from laughing out loud.

Embarrassed and not dealing with Wynonna’s blatant amusement at her misfortunate fall, Mercedes sat in the snow and swigged straight from the vodka bottle. "Merry Christmas to me!"

"Dude, have you been holding out on me?" Wynonna asked.

"It was hardly a secret. I was sitting out in the open, in plain view, refilling it every time you emptied it," Mercedes replied, her tone clipped.

"Wow, your inner bitch really comes out when you don’t know how to deal with your emotions," Nicole observed.

"You’re on her side now?"

Nicole put up her hands. "I’m not on anybody’s side. There are no sides. I just don’t think you can be angry at Wynonna because you took a snow dive."

Wynonna started laughing again and using her hand, mimicked Mercedes’s face plant again for good measure. "Come on, Mer. We’ve all done embarrassing shit. Some more than others."

"You make a fair point," the redhead thawed slightly. Smiling affectionately at her old friend, she held out the vodka bottle. "For God’s sake don’t down that in one. That’s all I have left."

After quenching their thirst, the trio eventually set off again, the warmth of alcohol burning in their bellies. Nicole took the lead this time, telling the other two women she knew hand signals and would be able to direct them. The fact that they didn’t hadn’t occurred to her.

Hearing noise up ahead of her but not seeing anything, Nicole slowed to a stop and put up a hand to warn the other two women to pause. Wynonna and Mercedes stood huddled together watching the sheriff make erratic hand signals, confused.

"I think she’s telling you to steal third," Wynonna snorted.

"Third what?"

"Base. You know baseball, you steal bases when you can," Wynonna explained.

Mercedes rolled her eyes. "Ugh, sports. Forget it. This body wasn’t made to participate in that sort of physical activity."

Crouching down and creeping forward, Nicole peered through some tree branches and found a clearing where their elusive turkeys were idling. Not as large a group as it had been, but more than enough for them to snag one. She grinned back at Wynonna and pointed ahead of her before flapping her arms.

Rolling her eyes at the redhead, Wynonna went in like a bull in a china shop. Stomping forward, she took aim and shot at the flock.

And missed again.

"I can shoot. We all know I can shoot, right?" She looked at the other two women. "They’re just… moving around, the little… feathery bastards!"

By this point, Mercedes had resigned herself to not getting turkey this year. She reached out and absentmindedly patted Wynonna’s arm.

"It’s probably the vodka you consumed," Nicole muttered.

"Pfft. I’ve been drunker than this before."

The sheriff held out her hand. "Give me the gun," she urged. "I’ve got a better chance of hitting something, hell, even Mercedes has a better chance of hitting something, than you."

"No way. It’s my rifle, get your own rifle."

"I’m more sober!"

"Well, we can’t all be a stuck up suck up!"

No longer amused by their antics, Mercedes stood back and watched Wynonna and Nicole, two grown women, start wrestling over the brunette’s gun and prayed one of them didn’t get shot in the ensuing tussle because they were far from any help and she was wearing designer boots not made to be run in.

"Let go of the gun, Wynonna!" Nicole growled.

"It’s my gun, you let go!"

"You’ve had three shots and missed every time. At least let me try. I’m a trained professional."

"Trained in whining!"

They were dancing about close together, the rifle between them, snow shifting this way and that as they fought for control. Finally, Nicole managed to wrestle free the rifle and lifted it above her head. She had the height difference on her side and Wynonna couldn’t quite reach the gun, so used what she had to her advantage. She fought dirty. Elbowing the redhead in the gut, she waited for Nicole to double over, then got her in a headlock.

"Gonna give me the gun now?" she asked gleefully.

"No!" Nicole choked out, a hand grasping at the arm around her throat. "Let go of me. I’ll tell Waverly!"

"You would, snitch!"

Mercedes rolled her eyes. "Jesus, it’s like babysitting five-year olds!" Noticing the pair were getting dangerously close to an embankment, she called out for their attention. "Uhh, children."

"I am going to kill a damn turkey if it kills me!" Wynonna shrieked. "Give me the gun!"

"You couldn’t hit a barn door with a banjo, let me try!" Shaking her whole body in an effort to shake Wynonna off, Nicole found that didn’t work in the slightest. If anything, it just choked her more. She took to spinning them around and around until finally Wynonna let go, dizzy and disorientated.

"Damn, Haught-toddy! I think my eyeballs are actually spinning." Losing her balance, Wynonna flailed and threw out her hands to grasp something, anything to keep her upright; Nicole grabbed for her, but it was too late, and gravity was against her. With a squeak, the brunette tumbled arse over tit down the embankment, shouting when she could and getting a mouthful of snow for her trouble.

She rolled and rolled, picking up snow and twigs in her hair and coat, feeling icy droplets invading, until she reached the bottom suddenly and came to a stop, lying stunned where she had landed. Staring up at the clear blue sky and swaying treetops, she cursed her luck.

"Wynonna!" Mercedes cried out, hurrying to the edge of the embankment and looking down at the sprawled-out woman.

Nicole stood staring wide-eyed down at Wynonna, wondering how she was going to tell Waverly she had killed her older sister.

"My God, you two idiots really are going to kill each other!" Mercedes snapped, looking at the taller woman and slapping her arm. Hearing a groan, she looked back down the embankment. "Wynonna are you all right?" she called out. She strained to hear what the woman replied with.

"She’s alive," Nicole breathed, feeling relief sweeping through her, the images in her head of Waverly crying and cursing her name morphing into Waverly smiling and holding her tightly once they returned home safe.

"Alive. Bring vodka to rejuvenate," Wynonna called out.

"Have you broken anything?" Nicole called out, her police training kicking in. "Actually, don’t move. You may have serious injuries."

"I’m fine!" Wynonna huffed, pulling a face. "But I may have killed a turkey."

The two redheads looked at each other in confusion. "She killed a turkey?" Mercedes questioned.

"She’s probably concussed."

"I. Killed. A. Turkey," Wynonna repeated. Tucking her arms in, she rolled over and from beneath her they could see the body of a now deceased turkey. "I killed a turkey with my butt."

"Top shelf," Nicole retorted. Which set her and Wynonna into a fit of laughter.

"I told you I was gonna kill one even if it killed me!"

"Didn’t think you meant literally!"

Rolling her eyes, not for the first time that day, Mercedes shook her head. "I’m a babysitter! I’m babysitting children!"

"Hold on, Wynonna, we’ll come down to you," Nicole grinned.

*** * * * ***

As midday had come and gone, Waverly Earp had begun to worry. She knew, having witnessed her sister and her girlfriend in each other’s company, that they could start arguing over the smallest of things. Now that they had been gone for hours, she was beginning to wish she hadn’t made the stupid suggestion of them going hunting together. God knows they always managed to get themselves into trouble when left to their own devices.

"Don’t worry," Jeremy smiled reassuringly. "You and I both know Nicole is practically a boy scout when out in the woods."

"Do you mean girl scout?"

He shrugged. "Whatever floats your boat." He looked around the kitchen. "Is there anything you need a hand with?"

Pasting on a cheerful smile, the youngest Earp shook her head. "Nope. Everything is under control."

"Okay, then relax." His head turned in the direction of the front door when someone knocked. "Would they knock?" he frowned, immediately thinking it was their missing friends and sibling.

"That’s probably Robin. I invited him because I know how much you miss him whenever he’s not around."

Jeremy’s eyes widened in surprise. "He told me he was busy all day with his dad."

Waverly shrugged. "Well, go let him in and ask why he lied to you." She smiled as she watched her best friend start to hurry out of the kitchen only to slow down to smooth down his hair and brush at his novelty jumper.

Turning back to the kitchen window, her breath caught as she spotted a trio approaching the homestead in the distance. Grabbing her coat, she stepped out onto the back porch as she slipped it on and squinted to try and make out whether or not it was her sister and girlfriend or just everyday trouble.

As they got closer, she smiled in relief when she saw it was her sister, her girlfriend and Mercedes, even when she noticed they looked a little worse for wear. Wynonna looked very dishevelled, Nicole was grinning triumphantly as she held an actual turkey aloft, and Mercedes, well Mercedes looked like Mercedes, elegant and well put together as always.

"What happened?" the youngest Earp asked once they were close enough to hear her. Wynonna’s hair was wild and untamed with snow and bits of foliage stuck in for good measure.

"We killed a turkey," Nicole told her proudly, holding up the bird for Waverly to see.

"Uhh, I killed a turkey," Wynonna corrected. "All thanks should go to me, baby girl."

"She killed it with her butt," Mercedes spoke up, making Nicole snort with laughter. "And if that hadn’t happened, we’d still be out there, so…."

Eyebrows lifting, Waverly looked at each of them and just knew there was going to be quite the story behind their day out. "Her butt?"

"It was a fierce wrestling match," Wynonna tried.

"She fell and landed on it," Nicole confessed.

Waverly tried to stifle her laughter but had little luck. "I can’t wait to hear all about it. Baby," She laced her fingers with Nicole’s, recognising the goofy lovesick look on her girlfriend’s face, the brown eyes shining a little more brightly than usual. "Have you been drinking?"

"Mercedes had vodka."

"Uh-huh."

"Such a snitch!" Mercedes grumbled.

Wynonna elbowed her. "Told you."

"And how much vodka did you enjoy, babe?" Waverly questioned.

"To warm us up. ‘Cause it’s cold. We had a…" She held up two fingers. "There were…" Two more fingers went up. "Yeah." Her shoulders sagged and she smiled sheepishly. "I should stick to beer."

Smiling affectionately, Waverly stood on her tiptoes and tenderly kissed the pouty redhead. "Sounds like you had fun out there."

"Not as much fun as I would have had here."

Blushing from the not so subtle comment, Waverly started tugging Nicole towards the door. "Come on inside, I think you’ve all earnt yourselves a sobering cup of coffee."

"Hold up, baby girl," Wynonna stopped in front of her sister. "Out of curiosity, did you forget to buy a turkey?"

Hazel eyes darted away guiltily.

"I knew it!" Wynonna shouted triumphantly, immediately looking at Nicole. "I told you she wouldn’t forget!"

"I can’t believe you lied," Nicole said, voice laced with disbelief.

"You needed some time together and I couldn’t exactly come out and say that because you’re both so stubborn. Wynonna’s been all sulky and moody because Doc’s pulled a disappearing act, you’ve been busy with sheriff stuff, and I know despite neither of you admitting it, that you’ve missed each other’s company."

"You lied on Christmas Day." Nicole shook her head, like the biggest crime had been committed. "I had plans for us," she said none too softly. "Warm and cosy in bed plans."

"Which we can talk about later!" Waverly chuckled nervously. "Everyone inside. Jeremy and Robin are waiting to hear every detail of your day out."

*** * * * ***

After dinner had been prepared and eaten, the story of the great hunt shared around the dinner table, along with much laughter, the group moved through to the living room where a fire was burning brightly to keep the cold at bay. Daylight had faded and night had drawn in bringing with it an icy chill.

Wynonna and Mercedes huddled up on the sofa to poke fun at their old yearbook, Robin and Jeremy sat arguing softly over the best all-time X-men character, and Waverly sat on soft cushions on the floor with Nicole’s head in her lap.

Looking around the room, Waverly smiled softly as she realised she finally had everything she had ever wanted at Christmas. After a childhood of being ignored or forgotten, after years of Gus and uncle Curtis having to work, after the drama of last year and discovering she was half angel, this year it was perfect. Friends, her sister, the love of her life all in this little room, together and content for the time being.

Slowly running her fingers through soft red locks, Waverly smiled down at her sleepy girlfriend, amused and pleased that Nicole was still unable to keep pace with the Earp’s when drinking. "Have you had a good day, babe?"

"The best. Even if most of it was away from you."

"How about I make you a promise that tomorrow we don’t have to leave bed at all."

Nicole cracked open an eye and smiled. "Deal."

"Merry Christmas, Nicole."

"Merry Christmas, Waves."

**The End**


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